And so she fell into an exhausted sleep....

11:58 AM

Middle child syndrome.

Behavioral issues.

Spoiled.

Bad parenting.

Which I guess would correlate with bad parenting.

Why does a five year old still feel the need to give temper tantrums. I've read everything imaginable from reputable sources and irreputable sources. And the answer is: so many real and non-existent reasons. Did you ever throw temper tantrums at age five? I am pretty sure I was too afraid of what my parents would do if I did.

So, shall we ask ourselves if the reason for temper tantrums and terrible behavior from five year olds is the result of not being afraid enough? Afraid in the sense of having respect. Respect that consequences will come. Respect that threats will be carried out. Respect that movies won't be seen, toys will be taken away, privileges revoked.

Crap. It sucks to be a parent.

I think we all hope that our kids will hear the threats and not make us actually carry them out. But as i listen at the door to my five year old whining and fake crying (because by now even she wouldn't still have tears left) I hear lego boxes being dumped (now I have to take those away) and the threat to leave her room being carried out through the Jack and Jill bathroom (now I have to revoke privileges) and I am really hoping she doesn't dare go downstairs because I really wouldn't be able to carry out my threat which flew from my mouth in a scarily low and calm voice, "I will throw you in the pool if you go downstairs."

Ha!

She clearly doesn't believe it.

But she does believe that her movie rights have been taken away because her aunt, cousin and sister have already left in the car and they won't be coming back until after they see the film. And she will have spent the 1h30m picking up her room again and getting a headache from all the fake sobbing she is doing.

I know because I would fake sob in my room at that age. Just not to my parents' knowledge. And never dared left the room. I didn't want a spanking. Because those were the days they were allowed to spank. And spank they did.

And at times like this I wonder if it was the sting of those two spankings in my life that made me not want to cross the line again. Not like this. Never like this.

Almost an hour into this. The good thing is that the two year old is entertained by grandma and the eight year old is at the movies. I don't have to deal with them during this mess.

The only thing is I don't know when or how it will end (in the near and forever future). And even after....possibly close to 60 temper tantrums between all three of them, I will still be as unprepared for the next one as I was for the first.

Wonder of wonders the gasping and fake sobs have subsided. Of course I have stopped several times during the writing of this post to speak to her, put her back into her room and explain once again that the movie is not longer an option. The one big difference in our communication this time is that I haven't yet yelled. Yea for me.

Well, yes, actually, yea for me because it really isn't easy to not yell when a five year old is pinching and scratching you while you place them back into their room.

Why did skin flab have to have so many nerve endings? By the grace of God I have self control. Thank you, Lord! Because my five year old does not.

I think she may be falling asleep. Which is what she needed in the first place.

Sleep. That magical thing that makes you forget your behavior for a few fleeting hours until your eyes open again and your addled brain sort out those guilty feelings that hang over you only to find that they are, in fact, meant to be there.

I know the ritual well, my darling daughter. But I too welcome your sleep just so that I might have a moment to gather my thoughts.

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