When I was younger12:34 PM
When I was younger I thought 33 was so far away. It was so old. Those people were.....put together, adults, so far removed from children or teens. They had lived too long in the corporate world and had forgotten everything that was true about life. They had allowed the little stresses of life to corrode them fog up their vision, pull them away from what is truly important.
Now that I am about to turn 34 I laugh and shake my head.
Half of us still feel like a child, or at least like a teen. We do not feel so far removed from those years...until a teen or child comments on our wrinkles and how old we are.....
I for one am not so put together. But I guess I can relate to letting little stresses get to me so much that I forget to stop and smell the roses. I never stop any more. But I do long for those days when I could. I wish I could go back and tell me when I was younger that we adults are usually so busy and focused and appear to not be having fun because we are doing what we think we are supposed to at this stage: provide for our family, make sure our kids have more advantages, keep moving up so we can keep paying the mortgage and keep our car at least running.
Of course that is all part of what we are supposed to do, so there is no trophy in it. But I wish I could tell my 16 year old self no to judge so harshly. Half of those 33 year olds wish they had time to just sit and watch the sunset; that most of them feel guilty when they do sit because there are always a million other things to be done before one sits.
But when I was younger I didn't own an iphone and the internet was still dial up. Thank the Lord above my mother restricted television and I spent time reading, writing, listening to music or simply dreaming. Do young people do that any more? Or are they constantly wasting time on their phone like us adults? I wonder if the line between teens and adults is being washed away by HTML codes. When I was younger I knew what it felt like to be a teen. Do the teens now know this?
As I click BUY on my new hammock chair that will swing from my tree in my first front lawn I've ever owned I wonder when I will find time to sit in it. Will I use it or will it be just another reminder that I have the ability to buy, but not the ability to find the time to stop and sit and watch the world go by.
I am about to turn 34 and stopping seems like an impossibility. I'd be late if I stopped. To where? Anywhere. Every where. School. Church. Dance class. Vacuuming.
I wonder what would happen if I took five minutes each day, sat down and became the 33 year old who stood out from the crowd. Who validated the opinions of teens and children, who took the time to smile, who realized that dinner could be an hour later without dire consequences, who remembered that there's no use crying (or yelling) over spilt milk. Perhaps just five minutes a day could make me into that 33 year old I thought I could be when I was younger.