Moody is as moody does

8:58 PM

I have a confession. That's what we are here for, right? To listen to my confessions?

We will have reconciliation ever Wednesday here at 5pm....

Just kidding. Learning about the Catholic Church. Principe is making me. Which is fine. Knowledge is good. Any knowledge. Almost any knowledge.

Back to my confession.

I just spent WAAAAAAYYYYY too much on makeup. But man, does it work well and look GOOD. Finally. But really, it was way too much money. I'm embarrassed to say the number. So I won't. Especially because then you all will think I'm rich but I'm not. Principe says I don't get a birthday or Christmas present for three years. Yep. That bad.

But that isn't really what I wanted to talk about.

My big confession, which is something I never wanted to admit but am forcing myself to do now is that I. Am. Moody.

I am a moody person.

And not the kind that moves up and down and all around. Mostly I go from happy to frustrated and annoyed to crabby. Then I stay in crabby. I am moody because I have a really hard time getting out of my mood once I am in it. I like to wallow in it.

When I get annoyed I want everyone to know that I am annoyed. Especially the person who annoyed me in the first place. I want them to KNOW it. Even if they are five years old, though usually the culprit is 35 and counting...

The biggest problem comes when I allow complaining or bad attitudes from my kids to change my attitude. Like tonight. I went from singing to yelling in about half and hour. It was just too much. All the complaining. And the sighing and the groaning and moaning. The refusal to eat dinner and ughhhhhhhhh.

I let it get to me.

But that is just the problem, isn't it? I let it get to me. Though I would prefer to blame my five year old and claim that she put me in a bad mood. I would prefer to blame the fact that Principe has an incredibly difficult time being ready on time for anything. I would like to say it is all their fault.

But it isn't. I was singing and teasing and having fun. And half an hour later I just want everyone to leave off and go to bed. And then I want to wallow about and complain to Principe about how hard it is to juggle making dinner and doing homework and getting all three of them to bed by myself every night.

Happiness is an option. Isn't that so true? There are people out there who are just naturally super happy. And they don't understand us moody people. But then, we don't understand them either. God made us differently and I guess somewhere along the way those happy people will have some struggle. Right? I hope? They just struggle on happy. Right?

But it is not only that happiness is an option. It is putting that together with the fact that patience literally means "not changing to the circumstances around you." I used to think it was just not showing how said circumstances affected you. Holding it all in, essentially. Perhaps heaving a small sigh, but.....showing calm. Instead it means to not be internally affected by the things around you. Whoah. So, I'm not supposed to be irritated inside either? This is what happens when you ask to be corrected by the Holy Spirit. He tells you things you don't want to know.

But then it makes sense. If you are a moody person (hand raised over here) then being internally irritated will eventually show on the outside. No matter how long you try to keep the outside wrapped in a smile. If you are crabby internally, you are going to let that mood out at some point. Especially because you have a hard time changing it in the first place. So better to just not go there?

Growing up is hard. Yes, Queenie. I totally agree. Growing up IS hard.


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