Favorite songs when I was 16

12:51 PM

So, yes the prompt says to pick your favorite song when you were 16, which is not plural. I get that. But honestly I don't think I had one favorite song. I mean, one song for the entire HUGE year of being 16? Too much pressure. I came up with a short list, though not a complete list.


So...as I listen to the songs and allow myself to revert back to that young, teenage version of me I find my soul flying back to the carpeted floor of my bedroom lying next to my boom box (1997 people. rock!) and I feel the heaviness that I felt back then. And I hear it in my music. While this list does not include the punk music I listened to (Less than Jake, Reel Big Fish, 311, Goldfinger, etc) I see a running theme in my 16th year of life that I always knew but hate to think about or really admit. Of course it is always easier to not think about as I travel the world and make new friends every few years, because there is never time to delve into the past. No one here knows me. No one can perk up one day and say: Remember when......

The easiest way to say it was that I was sad and all teenager. I was silently suffering and didn't know if I would ever make it out of the hole I was in, but I hid it well, diving into music and watching the fan twirl around whenever I had a moment to do so.

I loved Jewel. She was so beautiful and so fully grown up. She was 22 or 23 perhaps and from her songs I felt like she was so mature and had so many life experiences already. Like living alone, leaving a boyfriend, loving someone and losing them. I placed her on a pedestal and wished to be so grown up, watching a boy stand in the rain from my window because he was in love with me, or at least crazy and passionate enough to do so.

Ah, 16. I hope I take the time in 9 years time to give Queenie the space a girl needs when she is 16. The space to lie on her floor listening to her ipod (microchip???) and watch the ceiling fan twirl by, imagining her life in a few years time. And I hope her list isn't as melancholy...

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