Hi, my name is Kat11:04 PM
...and I'm a dunce. Why? Because I don't pay attention. Or rather....I try to do so many things at once that I can't pay attention to all of them.
This isn't about burning the rice so badly that only the middle of it was white.
This is not about leaving the stove on while I went to get the girls from school.
This isn't even about leaving my craft knife where Chatterbox could get it. And she did get it. And then she stabbed me in the head with it. Thank goodness she isn't very strong and actually wanted to color with it. Still. It hurt.
No this is about cooking dinner when Firecracker came to me to talk. She sat on the floor with her legs spread out in a very unladylike four year old fashion and told me she had a hole.
"Look, mom! I have a hole here!"
My first response, with my very proper upbringing, was to snap at her to stop touching her bottom, stop looking at her bottom and send her off. But then I closed my mouth. She is the most curious of my girls about her body and while it sometimes leads her to poke her sister between the cheeks (butt cheeks, that is) or bend over and pull her panties down to "show her butt", both of which do bring me horror and do make me launch into lectures on proper behavior, I didn't want to shut her down about something that is true about her body.
I didn't look. Not really. I glanced, assessed what I thought was going on and said, "Uh-huh."
"But why I have a hole there?"
Her head was down, trying to see said hole.
So I explained that one day babies will come out of there but that for now and a long time she should leave it alone.
(At this point in the story my husband stopped me to gasp and groan and say, "Why, why, why did you have to say that?" But I truly thought it was the best answer. At that very second.)
Firecracker ignored the baby part and said, "LOOK, MOM! I have a hole. In my PANTIES. What should I do with them?"
Time stood still.
I breathed in. And out.
And realized I was an idiot.
"Just take them off and throw them away. Get a new pair on."
And she left, happy to get new princess panties on.