Deja vu

2:38 PM

When I was little, (I mean, really little, not referring to last year like my daughter do when they say little. I am referring instead to about 24 years ago....) I had a best friend. We'll call her Lizzy. I am not exactly sure how we met but we did. And as our mothers hit it off together so did we. She was a year older than me (and knew SO MUCH! I was always AMAZED by her) and I seriously idolized her. We did everything together, or as much as we could since we didn't actually live very close by. We couldn't even ride our bikes to a from each other's houses in our little 5000 person town. But still, every time my mother asked me who I wanted to play with I said, "LIZZY!"

Then one day, I think I must have been about 7, my mother told me that Lizzy was moving. And not just moving house, she was moving to MISSOURI. That was like a whole world away! And of course her parents couldn't move her to a place next door to my grandparents as they lived in Kansas City, no! It was a town about an hour away from there!

I cried.

I cried.

And then I cried some more. I could be a pretty dramatic kid if I wanted to be but I don't think my mother was really prepared for my actions. Her reaction was to ignore me.

I dramatically entered my room, searched through my drawers, which wasn't easy as everything was very blurred by my forthcoming tears, until I found what I was looking for: a mother-of-pearl compact that my grandmother had found at an estate sale and had given to me. It was beautiful. I loved it. But I was willing to part with it if it was going to my best friend. After all, it would be the closest thing to taking my heart with her.

My mother found me cleaning it out and asked what I was doing. I am pretty sure her next words were, "Ummm, no."

I thought she was being very selfish, but a small part of me was glad as I didn't really want to part with such a pretty little box that smelled like face powder and made me feel like an actress in the black and white movies whenever I played with it.

Lizzy moved. And she didn't take my compact or a piece of my heart with her. I remember being bored for awhile and missing her terribly. But soon life absorbed my sadness. About a year later I was able to go visit her.

I was shocked by how much she had grown up. And I was shocked to see that she was happy in this new town of hers. What???

My shock subsided as we ran around and talked, catching up as much as 8 year olds could. We made Everything cookies, which are cookie that you put anything you can find in the pantry into them. And the marshmellows that we put in them stuck to the pan. We panicked slightly when we realized that the goo didn't come off too easily. I shrugged and said to get the pan hot again and we could scrape it off hot. Lizzy, being a year older, knew of something called a metal mesh scrubber. In the end the stuff came off.

I never saw Lizzy after that visit. I don't even remember eating the cookies.

Now, flash forward to another country and it is happening all over again. When I first came here I had no friends. In fact it took me until exactly two years to really find friends. Those friends that you meet up with often, that you wouldn't mind spending time with everyday and who (thankfully) have kids the same age as yours.

But being expats the chances of finding friends here that are here to stay is pretty low. Most of us are here temporarily. Not to say we won't be here for a long time, but chances are we might move sooner rather than later. Principe and I almost moved, but we didn't.

Not so for my girlfriend C. She is moving. And not even anywhere near my inlaws so I can visit. It is like Lizzy all over again! NO! She is moving to Bordeaux which is a city we have already visited and while we liked it there is no real reason to keep going back. That is, of course, until now, as she is reason enough to go visit!

But that isn't even the worst part! Her sister had to go and get engaged and had the gall to date her wedding for this summer! So C is leaving in less than two weeks to go home and visit her family and such and help with the wedding! Geez!

I tried to bride her with Everything Cookies, but she said that wouldn't cover the cost of her already-bought plane tickets. Then she offered to put me and my three girls up for the summer at her parents home, but Principe didn't really go for that.

What a bummer.

I still have friends here. And good ones. Ones that I am super thankful for having. But it is such a bummer to lose C. I know that life will bump forward and that time will be filled with my growing children and possibly new friends, but it would be nice to have that all happen with her along side me. After all, she would meet me for coffee in the pouring Toulouse rain if I asked her! I know because she has done it!


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