The color of me

1:25 PM

If I had to choose a color to describe my personality I would have to choose purple, because I am a little bit warm and a little bit cold.

Warm because I think I am a pretty good friend, unless I get into a funk where I just want to be home and then it would take a crisis to get me to come out and have coffee, but those funks are few and far between and usually only last a day or two. I love people easily. I have a soft spot for children and older people and people who have been through a lot. I am easy to get along with, easy to get to know and will probably offer to watch your children just so you can get a break.

But then there is the side of me where I am exactly like my grandmother. We aren't super cold people because we are friendly and like to laugh and love to have a good time and are pretty talkative given the opportunity and the right subject line, but we can also go days without a hug. 

It drives Principe crazy that my "excited" reaction is not squealy, or giggly or jumping-up-and-down-screaming. Instead it is more like a big smile, maybe a nervous giggle and a giant "Thank you" which usually isn't said with enough enthusiasm to satisfy him. 

While I can be as cool as a cucumber in many situations to the point that people call me "Super zen" (the French like to use "super" a lot...) I can also get a bit hotheaded. My blood can sometimes boil over and lead me into saying something not quite nice or just not needed at the moment. As I grow older I am getting better at holding my tongue in these situations, but poor Principe usually still gets an earful whether it was his fault or not. 

My goal is to be a little less cold. Of course, there are some things in my past that contribute to this as well as my personality, but I don't like the fact that I can go a day without hugging my kids and it doesn't affect me for them not to hug me either. Until I think about it and then I don't like it. I want to not only tell them that they are loved but I want them to FEEL it. I want to break a bit of the cycle in my family and the whole "they know I love them even if I don't show it" type of deal. 

Anyway, maybe in a few years from now I will be able to say that I am orange or pink or even red...although I think it may be impossible to change THAT much! But for now I will be honest and say purple.

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