Busy, busy

2:23 PM

I remember when life wasn't so busy. When I had time to reflect on life and my future. I could sit in my room and truly contemplate the beauty of the sunset or just watch the fan and listen to music. I could write in my journal about whatever and write and write and writer. Poems. Short stories. Prose. Responses to what people had said to me that day or what I had read in the newspaper. I was passionate and had ideas. I was creative. I looked forward to the future.

Okay, I still look forward to the future. Really, really. There are so many things to look forward to, don't get me wrong. It is just that I wish I had more time to REFLECT on the future. Or the past.

I remember when my mother told me that one day I wouldn't have enough time in the day to even remember what I did yesterday.

Holy cow was she right.

What a shame though, too. I get the laundry done and the kids fed and off to school, I get Principe's clothes cleaned and pressed, I get the shopping done and we get to all of our gymnastics and speech therapist appointments. I remember almost all of those things (although sometimes I DO forget....!)

But yesterday I had over 6 hours in the car and I tried to remember some interesting things about my childhood. Not about the last ten years, no. I wanted to dig deeper. And quite honestly I found that my ability to sit and reflect and remember has been lowered to a shocking negative rate. I am UNable to site and reflect. Seriously. I did remember some things but couldn't seem to make a story out of them. Or make them interesting enough to even share with my husband who spent his time calculating this and the other thing, as he does when he drives. Like how long would it take a cop to catch up with us now if they were going 20 kilometers an hour more than us and got onto the on ramp 20 kilometers back.

Yep. I married THAT guy.

But back to me.

I read blog posts about people's childhood memories and I LOVE them. And I wish that I could have the time one day to find a memory that is memorable enough to share and THEN have the time to write it all out.

Being a mom is hard, sheesh.

Remember when there was time for bubble baths? I have a fizzy ball waiting for me. It's been waiting for 2.5 years.

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