The norm is not so much the norm...

9:20 AM

Ten years ago when I met Principe I told my best friends about his Spanish boy. I claimed that he was the greatest and that we were going to try and work it all out, which meant staying together through month of being separated and spending days upon days trying to work out the next few years of our lives between internships, bachelor degrees and master degrees until we could actually get married.

Married? They asked. You really want to get married to someone who isn't American?

The thought never crossed my mind. I was simply in love. I know my friends and I know they aren't ignorant, prejudice people so I wondered aloud to them about their concerns.

I just think marriage would be hard enough coming from basically the same culture, but throw in a separate culture and that might bring up some issues.

I thought she was crazy.

But really she was seeing the future.

Of course, marrying someone from a culture different from your own will not make or break your marriage, but it certainly does bring up some issues that would never be a problem for those who fall in love with someone from the same culture.

Take the German/Colombian couple we know. Madre Mia! What a combination! You can see just in how they talk that they probably have some kinks and they fully admit that they are total opposites and sometimes find it hard to understand each other. He simply has to accept the fact that Colombian women are dominating and possessive and will voice their opinion ALL THE TIME while she has to accept the fact that he is rigid in his routine, has high expectation for all things and thinks everything should be as organized as he is.

Or the French/American couple we know. In France the culture believes that sex is a big deal in a marriage and when my friend, (after giving birth) was told to wait for much longer than is the norm, her French mother in law became anxious that their marriage would end in divorce! Maybe it is just her, you say? Maybe, but then it isn't uncommon to hear your pediatrician tell you to ween your baby around three months so that you can give your breasts back to your husband! Whoa! That kind of statement only makes an American born woman want to keep them away from your husband out of spite and ownership! LOL!

Or the English/French where the man just doesn't understand why he ha to hug and kiss people ALL THE TIME in France!

Well, I could place me under that one above as well as I have to deal with my MIL kissing and hugging on me and complete strangers gushing and kissing and holding my babies without saying a word because it isn't them being rude it is simply culture! (And when you don't kiss back, that is rude!)

It is just interesting to me how much of my world is a bit turned around. For me the norm is to meet a couple and find out that he is American and she is Thai and that they live in France. (That couple has a GREAT story!) or that She is German and he is Spanish and they both love  schnitzel and paella! We get together sometimes and joke about all of our differences and backgrounds. Like how the Frenchmen don't know that giving soap as a Mother's Day present means he forgot about the whole thing! But in the end we all agree that we wouldn't have it any other way!

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