Big Girl Bed

12:56 AM

    There is no longer a crib in use in this house. It hasn't been taken apart, except for the move here to Toulouse, since Queenie was born. When we moved Queenie to her big girl bed we made up the crib in different sheets than she used and prepared her for "the baby" to sleep there. When I looked at Queenie for the first time in her big girl bed I had a rather large belly and anticipated the crib being in use just two months later. Now it lies in pieces in the hallway.
   I stood in the dark room last night, watching both of my big girls sleep in their new beds and while I felt proud of them I felt.....a bit torn. I have written about my desire to have one more child and Principe's desire to not ever have more. Nothing has changed. He really thinks that we are fine at two.  I can't really explain why it is so important to me, but I want at least three. Our situation is different from many in that we have to travel quite far and pay a pretty penny to visit family, so having two would make sense economically, but who wants to decide how many kids to have based on economics. I could move things around in the house and save more money. I know I could. Right now I don't because I no longer feel the pinch that I felt in Madrid, but I could go back to that. And I am looking for work again and am sure THE BLESSING will help me find my way there. Firecracker is starting  preschool in the fall which will leave me free every single morning until 11:45. And....yet...even with the temptation to have my life "freed up" I am desiring to have that one more little one running through the house, grabbing on to what is hers/his and adding his/her voice to the chaos. I am also praying that if my husband allows me to have one that this one will be a non-colicky, sleep-through-the-night baby!
   Enough of that.
    Firecracker turns two on Saturday and looks like a giant in her big girl bed! How do they grow up so fast? It is so much fun to watch, but seriously, I think Father Time turns the notch up when your own children are born. Crazy. My little black-haired newborn with a scrunchy smile is now a curly-headed blondie with legs strong enough to climb up anything and a voice that only has one volume (LOUD). Well, she has pretty much always only had one volume, but I swear she gets cuter and cuter every day. Of course the throwing of food is not cute.....
   Just so that you think I am ignoring Queenie, I still think she is cute. In fact she is hilarious now as she talks more and more each week. We are just now getting to hear her life wisdom and it is so much fun!

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