Count it all joy1:47 PM
Sometimes I frustrate myself on how little it takes for the girls to either irritate or frustrate me. I don't like yelling. I don't like people yelling at me and I don't like to yell....but I seem to have days when it seems like all I do is yell. And when the sun sets that day and I look at my girls sleeping in their beds, all fuzzy in their pajamas and peaceful I feel guilty at having wasted so much time yelling. Or being frustrated or irritated.
I decided I needed to change something. I needed to change something in me. Some how I had lost joy and I needed it back. And I think I found a way to get it.
I found it partly from a pastor I listen to on my iPhone. He says he starts his days declaring who he loves. And while that may sound a bit corny, I think (as well as many people I am sure) the world and all of us in it need a bit more love. And what better way to start your day than declaring who you love? So now I try to remember to do just that. "I love Principe. I love Queenie. I love Firecracker. I love my family. I love my inlaws. I love my neighbor as myself....."
Not only do I do it in the morning, I have taken to doing it when I feel my temper fuse becoming shorter.
The other thing I do now is bit my tongue. Something I should have done earlier, I hear you say. Well, yes. It is. And guess what? I have found that at least half of those times that I thought Queenie was whining or yelling she was actually just playing. Yes, playing in a rather annoying tone of voice, but it was innocent play nonetheless. Geez! Doesn't do much for my mom guilt. But at least I am learning, right? Of course there are times when you really HAVE to get out your game face and talk in a tone they haven't even heard daddy speak in yet. Like today when Queenie "fell down" while we crossed the street at the same time that Firecracker was trying to squirm her way out of my grasp and run where ever she wanted to go. Okay, then at least I had reason to be strict and stern, right?