1:24 AM

    We have two little girls. I think we need a boy. I think we need at least 3 children. Principe isn't so sure. When the temper tantrums hit he looks at me and says, "So, when do you want to have the THIRD one?" I smile and say, "Ready when you are." Which makes him scoff and shake his head. I think he needs a boy as he is always a bit disappointed when the girls don't want to watch soccer or play boy games. He says that he is too scared we will have another girl. Why? Because his pocketbook won't survive! Instead of learning to say no his answer is just to not have more kids! LOL! Like most daddies with daughters he is totally enamored with them and just can't refuse their cute little faces when they say, "please."
  I talk every once and awhile with him about adoption. It is something that I would like to do, always has been, but he isn't sure. One factor is that his parents are not really for it. All the problems that come with having children are multiplied when it is an adoptive kid, they say. I am sure there are problems specific with adopting, but I have a SIL who is adopted, a second cousin and a first cousin and all of them are fine. Lots of us have issues in our lives, adopted or not, I say.
   Principe finally told me once that he would rather give life to someone who wouldn't be on this earth if it weren't for us getting pregnant. I never thought of it that way, but it doesn't change my mind. I am not pressuring him, I am just praying. Praying for that little boy whether he come from my womb or someone else's.
   BUT, I found an adoption webpage today and just couldn't help looking. Oh! So many little guys in need of a home. And so many with special needs. I assume, looking at their profiles, that the mother's probably weren't getting good medical care while pregnant with some of them. And others I think probably the parents are too young or not in a good place to deal with their medical needs. No judgement here. Just love. I wish I could take in a few of them! Some of them remind me of my little nephew who only made it to 3 years old in his life. It would hurt, but I would love to give a child love even if they aren't destined to be here long.
    I can't believe I went on that website. It breaks my heart. I wish I could adopt them. I wish more people were in a place to adopt. I wish, I wish. I need to stop looking at this website. Or....maybe I should just start ending pages to Principe? Or is that manipulation? No wonder he doesn't want another girl! The poor guy would be manipulated into everything!

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