Do or die1:01 AM
We are going through another disciplining wave with Queenie. I hear they come in waves. And keep coming. That seems to be how it is right now. She has just gotten so bossy, controlling and a bit defiant. The other day she was mad that we weren't going to my PT doctor after school where she gets to eat her after school snack on the floor in the corner while watching Mickey Mouse on my iPhone. She was so mad that she ran away from me in. the street. Not cool.
Of course I had Firecracker with me. And of course she wasn't in the stroller. And of course I was wearing my furry clogs that while being aesthetically great with my jeans, were almost the cause of a sprained ankle a few times before we got home...with Queenie kicking and screaming under my arm. I felt defeated and embarrassed. But I kept my cool, which is surprising as I am naturally a yeller, but am trying to stop doing that. Reason? I think it only makes my girls more nervous and it gets me worked up more. In other words: it does NO good. Not for me anyway.
So, we get home. Firecracker is still crying and unwilling to walk up the stairs. She is repeating Queenie's name over and over as though she is thinking that something is wrong with her sister. Queenie, in that moment finds the strength to open the door to the street, which makes it impossible for me to go with plan A: take Firecracker up first to show Queenie I am not happy with her and then come down for Queenie. On to plan B: take both of them up the stairs. Not an easy task as Queenie doesn't want me to hold her.
When we get inside she sits at the door SCREAMING for her Deedee, who happens to be right next to her. I leave her alone. I turn on Coyo (Pocoyo) for Firecracker, but it doesn't really help. Queenie comes in and turns off the TV. I tell her to stop and turn it back on. She comes back, charging the tv like a bull to turn it off again. Instead of having a fight which would probably result in our television being broken, I take her to her room. She is pissed. It takes quite a few times of placing her back in her room until I just close the door on her. I didn't lock it, but I held it so she couldn't open it. Let me emphasize again that she is STILL screaming and kicking. To the point that I think if we were in the States our neighbors would have called the police. Of course her screams sound like: "Mama! No! Mama! Please, no!"
Seriously. Someone listening and not watching would surely think that I am beating the daylights out of her. I HATE how she screams like that. She has no idea what it sounds like to adult ears but it makes me want to break down and cry. If I heard that from a child I didn't know I would immediately think that the child was being abused. I'm serious. It is THAT bad. Errr.
Then she had to pee. So we went to the potty, but I basically ignored her. She refused the toilet paper I offered her so I left her alone and went to the living room with Firecracker who was in a nervous frenzy and needed a hug. Queenie slowly stopped crying all by herself in the bathroom. I am pretty sure she didn't wipe, but what are you gonna do? When she came into the living room I ignored her until she stopped in front of me and quietly said, "Mama?"
We had a talk. I made it clear that her outbursts were no longer acceptable and her screaming at her sister was not going to be tolerated. Each time she would be placed in her room and the door would close until she stopped crying. Then the rest of the evening was fine.
That was Monday. She has gone to her room with the door being closed 2 times more and in the corner 2 other times. It has been a difficult week. The only consolation is that her cousin is doing the same thing. So I am guessing it is a "pushing the limits" phases. In other words for us the parents: WIN or die later in the teenage years.
So far I think I am winning. Just gotta keep praying for patience. And breathe!