Is two enough?

8:47 AM

   I always thought that I wanted four kids. I came from a household of four kids and I loved it. It was loud at times, but it was great. As far as siblings go I wouldn't change a thing about having three of them, growing up with three of them, etc. Our house was clean, rarely messy, although that wasn't necessarily true about our rooms it is quite a tribute to my mother and how she taught us. Think back, now that I have two kids, I kind of wonder how my mother did it all.
   So far Principe has put a nix on having more kids. For the past year he has felt swamped and he doesn't like the feeling. I have to say that moving to a new country while seven months pregnant, having a baby in a new country while dealing with new systems, a new job and still needing to get things done for our Queenie has made for quite the year and a half for Principe. And myelf. It didn't help that Firecracker was not a good sleeper for the first nine months of life, but things got better and she is making up now for lost sleeping time..!
    This summer things were hard with Queenie. We realized some things that need to be done, taken care of, etc. Like speech therapy perhaps among other things. Things that will require time. Time, time, time....
   Principe still works loooooooooong hours.
   Firecracker started going to the Halte-Guarderie, which is a parttime daycare for stay out home parents to give us a break and to help the kids be around other kids. We want Firecracker to be exposed to French earlier than Queenie was to avoid some pitfalls that Queenie had to get through as a not-yet three year old starting preschool.
    So, now I have some hours all to myself.....And it is GOOD. BUT, I am still super busy with just the two kids. Of course it doesn't help that I sit down at 5:30 to whine blog about it intead of making dinner which will lead to have to hurry to make dinner which always sets a busy tone.....Ay, guess sometimes I do it to myself.
   The point? Oh, yes, there should be a point. Sorry, my iPhone blinged which means I either have an update on Facebook, a new email, a new message......yes, concentrate. On the computer.....the point is:
  Do I really want a new one? As I sit in a cafe in the morning actually editing my novel to get it ready to publish (or rather FIND someone to publish it...but it will happen.....I promise!) and I sip my coffee I wonder if I really want another baby. I mean, I DO...but then maybe I don't. I don't know. I'm having a hard time deciding. My mother had us a bit spread out, which is an option, but I would really rather have mine closer together. There are four years between my sister and me and it was really only now that we have become chums. I wouldn't want that to happen. If we are going to have more kids I want them to be closer in age. Then there is the time and expense.
   I don't know. *sigh*. What have you decided? What made you stop, or keeping having, kids?

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