I told you so

7:18 AM

My mother told us she was different a long time ago. But we didn't want to listen. So we didn't.

But we should have listened to her and our own instincts.

It isn't like she is so different that other people notice. It isn't something like autism that turns a family around. but it is there. The insecurtiy. The inabilities. The non-coping skills. The fears.

My mother calls it social integration issues along with sensory sensitivities. We call it nothing, although due to some occurences during vacation we now recognize that it IS something.

But we don't want to talk about it. At least not really with friends or family close to us. Why? Because we have many who wouldn't understand, who would think we are making excuses. And because we don't want her labeled. When certain times come, like her abuela pressuring her to be a "big girl" and come to the beach alone with them, we will try to gently explain and equally try to not be hurt by the comments on our parenting.

The important thing to us is that she learns to feel safe. Learns to not have fears. Learns to deal with her sensitivites. We want her to grow into adulthood with confidence in herself, knowing that it is okay to be different from her limelight stealing cousins. It is okay not to want to be the center of attention. It is okay to want to follow the rules. It is okay to want to be alone sometimes.

Principe is having a harder time than me as he has never been sensitive to anything nor has he been shy nor does he understand the need to be alone. On the contrary he does NOT like to be alone. But we talked. And it was a good talk. And he sees that there are some things that we will have to accept as personality on her part. The explosions we will not accept, allow we do need to learn how to avoid them their triggers and so forth, the rudeness we will not accept, but the difference in personlity we will. And the need to be taken out of chaos also. And the fact that she just wants to be in her own home with her parents. We will accept that.

But I guess it isn't an overnight thing. There is a learning curve to parenting and now we have added another curve. Anyone else have this added curve?

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