Beating a dead horse

You gotta know when to stop. To give up. To leave well enough alone. Sometimes you can figure this out yourself. Other times someone has to tell you.

And even if it is your five year old saying it, sometimes you need to listen.

I am looking at myself in the mirror when I say this because it has come to my attention that I don't really know how to leave things be. I don't know when it is time to stop talking. But I was told by Queenie the other day that this is the day to stop.

You see, she has a cavity. And it has started to hurt.

That is a bad sign.

We have taken her to the dentist FOUR times. And each time she clamps up, cries, shuts her mouth and refuses to allow the dentist to do anything.

Before we go in she says she is going to be good. She says she is going to let the dentist fix it. We talk till we are blue in the face about what the dentist is going to do so there are no surprises. But nothing helps. It is almost like she has no possession over her body once she sees the dental chair.

And after a traumatic visit we all go home upset.

And eventually she cries and complains about her tooth. And I get mad, but I try to be calm and tell her that it is going to hurt until she can be a big girl and get it fixed. That she should have let the dentist work. That there is no reason to cry. That we are there with her. That is needs to be fixed, fixed, FIXED!

And through her sniffles this last time she stomped her foot and said, "MOM! Can you just stop TALKING please?"

It wasn't really a request, but an order

I shut my mouth. And I realized that I was not helping, rather I was beating a dead horse. She knows. It has all been said before. Now it is time to let it go. To be quiet. And let her decide.

I think my five year old just made me grow up a little.

One big step.

Principe got a new job.

He is so excited about it because it is pretty close to his DREAM JOB (imagine lots of salivating and excited jitters as though he were a five year old boy going to his first Real Madrid soccer game). I am super happy for his as well. It is not only a step up and his DREAM JOB it also means a bit of a salary increase and the fact that we will be staying put for at least another three years.

Staying put another three years brings into focus a few things. Like: going back to French class, the girls continuing at the same school with their same friends, us getting to stay amongst our friends and eat cheese and drink wine....

It also means we have to move.

Yep. Move.

Our expat package is done soon and when it is we will be expected to pay all of our own rent. And quite frankly we don't want to pay the amount we will have to for this place. Not that we don't like our apartment it is just that we could get a mortgage and pay LESS than the rent amount. No kidding.

So within a few seconds we have decided to buy our own place. We are totally ignorant when it comes to buying a house or apartment or anything bigger than a toaster, really. Ok, we did buy our own car....

So for the next few months you will be learning along side me what it is like to buy property in France. Because every country is different remember. And France is not like the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun". We called two realtors already and got no call back. Then there are the rumors of the 10% realtor fee ad the 7% government tax and the fact that the kitchens are not installed and you start to add it all up......and......WOW! That is a lot of money.

Good thing it grows on trees here. Or should I say grape vineyards?

Reasons my kids are laughing

Someone just said "caca" or "pee-pees"

One of them is laughing while they pretend the other's doodoo (favorite stuffed animal as in the one they sleep with) is their own. The other one is NOT laughing....

Papa made a farting sound.

They are tickling you which doesn't really tickle, but you fake laugh which makes them laugh....until it hurts.

The baby made a snorting sound which made her sound like a piggy.

The baby had gas and caca! Double reason to laugh....

Papa monster is coming to get them and bite their butts. This also includes much screaming.

Firecracker is watching old Donald Duck cartoons. "He is so FUNNY!"

They are running away from me trying to get them ready. Eventually the laughter stops as mean mama comes out....!

Someone said "caca" again, which made the other repeat it which made Firecracker start a song which led to Queenie replying to me saying, "okay, maa caca!" which made Firecracker say the same which made Queenie say it again inserting Firecracker's name, etc.

You want to change my kids' mood? Just say "Caca"!

Jumping Jacks and baby number three

Even after a month since giving birth it is not always easy to find oneself super happy with one's body. It isn't easy to find clothes that fit as the hips have shifted slightly, the belly has not totally calmed down back to it's original place and the boobs are usually a bit larger than they were before. If you are breastfeeding there is also the trick to finding a shirt or dress that allows you to feed your child without showing off all the extra curves you have acquired in the past few months!

I have been feeling the after-baby-woes for a bit so once I got the go-ahead from the doc I decided to start working out. Slowly, of course, no reason to rush into things. Right?

Right. 

Because, you see, sometimes, even though you feel physically able to do exercise, your body is not always back to where it was. Sometimes there are certain muscles that aren't quite as fit as they were before giving birth. 

Sometimes you don't think about this until you are jumping some jumping jacks and suddenly you feel a warm liquid running down your thigh. So you stop jumping to investigate when you realize that it is urine. That's right. You are peeing on yourself with every jump that you take. Excellent. 

You would like to think that it isn't pee but it becomes rather obvious that it is, though I won't tell you how. So after only 10 minutes into your workout you go and change your clothes before bravely facing Jillian Micheals again. Good thing she is prerecorded. It isn't quite as embarrassing that way. 

And once you are satisfied with doing some cardio you quickly search for "pelvic floor exercises" on youtube before calling it a day. Because obviously there are some exercises that are more important at this point postnatal than jumping jacks.

Pelvic floor exercise by Moms into Fitness 

4000 miles between us

I never realize how much I miss my family until they come to visit and then leave. In this day and age of Skype and Whatsapp, instant emailing and free international calls I sometimes don't realize how nice it would be to live much closer to them until they come and then leave.

While I have always wanted to live in Europe (and I consider this as living one of my dreams) I never realized what kind of homesickness it would cause me at times. This is especially true each time I have a baby. There is a fundamental difference between living far away from "home"yet still in the same country and living far away from home and living in another continent: you cannot get into your car and drive home.

While the gas may cost you so much that you think twice about doing it these days the truth is that if you got into a jam or were so truly homesick you couldn't stand it anymore, you do have the option to drive home if you still live on the same continent. This is not true when you live on two separate continents. There is no spontaneity to going home. There must be a well thought out plan with passports in tow and plane tickets bought.

Firecracker cried today as she realized her Binka was leaving to go to her house with the dog and the kitty and Grandpa who lets her jump from the window ledge to the couch. She begged me to let her go with Binka. When I tried to explain that she couldn't go she begged to go with me to Binka's house. Of course trying to explain to a 3 year old that you are not trying to be mean by not letting her go but that you really cannot let her because of things called luggage and plane tickets and passports, is like teaching a newborn to poo on the potty. It just goes in one ear and out the other.

But as I calmed Firecracker down and waved out the window one last time to my mom with the little pumpkin in my arms and Queenie beside me I tried not to dwell on the prospect of not seeing my mom for 7 more months. It wasn't going to help anything with mommy crying too. In fact, that would probably make Queenie cry also and soon the little one would succumb as well. That is too much emotion for this girl. My ancestors were English for crying out loud. We can't deal with all that sort of thing! Of course the days will go by and my days will be FILLED and soon it will be fall again, then Christmas and then I will again be in the states, but the first few days after my mom leaves it all seems so far away.....

Because you just don't realize how much you could use them being accessible until they come and then leave. How wonderful it must be to be able to pop into your mom's for impromptu tea. Or go shopping on a Sunday morning. Or call at that moment that you need encouragement instead of calculating the time difference and when it would be a good time to call. How wonderful it would be to have their help even every once and awhile. Or not have to pull out photos to go with names because they would just see them all that often that they would remember.....

How wonderful. It seems that some dreams come with strings attached.

Sigh.

I never knew there was such a thing

as a quiet baby!

Seriously! I never knew that newborns actually sleep those 18 hours that all the experts say they are supposed to sleep! Because my first two never did!

It is amazing to me that I am typing this while she sleeps in her chair next to me. The mere fact that I don't have to hold her 24/7 is mind boggling, I tell ya!

As far as sleeping through the night? Well, we aren't there yet but seriously this girl wakes up, eats, burps and pretty much goes back to sleep! Around 6 she stays awake longer which makes me think I should start going to bed earlier in order to just wake up with her at that time. This has not yet happened.....but I am thinking about it!

So when I thought that my SILs were just trying to make me jealous with their baby that sleeps all the time, I was totally wrong! There ARE baby's who sleep all the time!

AND I FINALLY GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

If this had happened every time we would be well into having our fourth......!

Three years old going thirty

  Principe and I are trying to do this thing called: following through on our promises. Whatever we say to the girls we hold ourselves accountable for going through with it. That means even when we don't feel like it. 

  This includes times when we think our child or children have even forgotten about said promise. We still want to make good on it. So when we promised Firecracker that she would get a birthday party with her friends we decided to go through with it. Even though her little sister is only two weeks old and I don't really have the energy our time to put together a party like I did for Queenie. I felt like a bit of a bad mother when I borrowed Minnie Mouse decorations from a friend and didn't even make party bags. I have no idea where the day goes but it seems to literally slip by me and I simply wasn't getting anything done. 

  She did get a party though and I am pretty sure she didn't notice that there were half the decorations than there were for Queenie. She had all her friends there, which really mattered and she got presents. In fact she was so much the center of attention that my little girl who LOVES to have everyone looking at her so much that she sang TWICE in front of half a restaurant to Mickey Mouse, put herself on a rest in her bed a few hours into the party because she was too overwhelmed! But he later rejoined the friends in their marathon running up and down the hallway!

    

  She was excited about the Minnie Mouse cupcakes that I said I was going to make for her. Except that after the party she looked at me when I asked if she had fun and answered, "Yes. But mom we not have a Minnie Mouse cake. That is not a Minnie Mouse cake!"

    

   And my friends, (the moms of Firecracker's friends) were great because they kept the presents low key and didn't buy ANY toys! Yes! I was excited because she really has quite a lot of toys and since her sister was born she has accumulated a few more! The hit of all the presents was more certainly the princess costume that she got. Which she claims is NOT a costume and she certainly CAN wear it to school!

  It came with a crown and gloves even! Another friend gave her a Tinkerbell locket which just completes the whole outfit, don't you think?

  Everyone thought it was hilarious that with each present handed to her she would turn to me and ask, "Mom, is this for ME?" I caught this picture of her asking as I laughed into the camera! It was pretty obvious that this was her first BIG birthday party!

   Ahh, my little girl. Once my youngest and now my middle child. My second born. The life of the party, The one who loves to talk, who will do anything to get people to laugh. The one who goes through life singing (in French, Spanish and English). The one who will play with anyone at the park who wants a playmate and yet the one who is also so comfortable playing by herself as well. The character who always has an excuse to prolong getting ready or going to bed. Who has more energy than a race horse and who can't get enough hugs in a day. My little spitfire. My firecracker. What a happy three year old you are! And oh how I love you!